As you may have heard, there appears to be a different way to figure out zodiac signs that people are just finding out about now. Yesterday, this new information sent what seemed like everyone on the Internet into an identity crisis. Some Virgos are now Leos, Cancers Geminis, and if you were a Scorpio before, by this new logic chances are you aren't (it's about a week long). But, to quote the "Double Rainbow" guy, what does this mean? To clarify, we bring you 12 things your new astrological sign could mean for you. See what we came up with below and vote for your favorite!
You May No Longer Be Compatible With Your Spouse
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If you're married, you probably thought the stars endorsed this holy matrimony based on your signs. As of today, that very well may not be the case. Since you're now on the brink of divorce since your signs have changed, we recommend a seeing a marriage counselor to save this failing marriage.
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thought they were, due to your supposed astrological compatibility, but it turns out you have almost nothing in common. It's time to ceremoniously dump them all and find new ones. If you use the line, \"I just destroyed my relationships with all my friends because I just found out I'm a Sagittarius. Want to hang out sometime?\" then they'll appreciate the honesty.","credits":"","image_num":"6","title":"You Will Need To Make A New Set Of Compatible Friends","title_link":"You_Will_Need","caption_style":"normal","rating":"0","votes":"0","params":{"social_enabled":1},"video_code":"","content_type":"image","is_thumb_generated":"no","user_id":"0","is_notified":"no","is_queued":"no","created":"2011-01-13 15:41:51","entry_id":"0","slideimage_excerpt":"","caption_javascript":"Have you felt distant from your friends lately? That you may not completely trust all of them one hundred percent? This is because they're not really your friends. You thought they were, due to your supposed astrological compatibility, but it turns out you have almost nothing in common. It's time to ceremoniously dump them all and find new ones. If you use the line, \"I just destroyed my relationships with all my friends because I just found out I'm a Sagittarius. Want to hang out sometime?\" then they'll appreciate the honesty.","caption_repaired":"","social_enabled":1},{"slideimage_id":"223730","slide_id":"16070","image":"","caption":"Until recently, you thought that you had been bestowed with inherent characteristics that have suited you well throughout your professional life. But you're not a millionaire and CEO of your company, right? Sounds like you don't know anything about yourself. Find out what your new sign is known for, quit your job, and find a new one that fits your new traits. Forget a resume or technical skills -- your new boss has probably been waiting for you.","credits":"","image_num":"7","title":"Your Chosen Career Was A Mistake","title_link":"Your_Chosen_Career","caption_style":"normal","rating":"0","votes":"0","params":{"social_enabled":1},"video_code":"","content_type":"image","is_thumb_generated":"no","user_id":"0","is_notified":"no","is_queued":"no","created":"2011-01-13 15:42:43","entry_id":"0","slideimage_excerpt":"","caption_javascript":"Until recently, you thought that you had been bestowed with inherent characteristics that have suited you well throughout your professional life. But you're not a millionaire and CEO of your company, right? Sounds like you don't know anything about yourself. Find out what your new sign is known for, quit your job, and find a new one that fits your new traits. Forget a resume or technical skills -- your new boss has probably been waiting for you.","caption_repaired":"","social_enabled":1},{"slideimage_id":"223769","slide_id":"16070","image":"","caption":"If you have ever made a mistake, you did so because you have been falsely guided by your supposed astrological sign. And if you've ever made a good decision, ever, it was also for the same reason. Take a careful look at your decision backlog and take all necessary steps to adjust every single one.","credits":"","image_num":"8","title":"You Must Immediately Rectify All Past Decisions You've Ever Made","title_link":"You_Must_Immediately","caption_style":"normal","rating":"0","votes":"0","params":{"social_enabled":1},"video_code":"","content_type":"image","is_thumb_generated":"no","user_id":"0","is_notified":"no","is_queued":"no","created":"2011-01-13 16:12:26","entry_id":"0","slideimage_excerpt":"","caption_javascript":"If you have ever made a mistake, you did so because you have been falsely guided by your supposed astrological sign. And if you've ever made a good decision, ever, it was also for the same reason. Take a careful look at your decision backlog and take all necessary steps to adjust every single one.","caption_repaired":"","social_enabled":1},{"slideimage_id":"223783","slide_id":"16070","image":"","caption":"You've been obsessed with the musical \"Hair\" since high school. \"Age of Aquarius\" has been on constant repeat since then too (and you prefer the original cast recording, not that 5th Dimension crap). Guess what? You're a Capricorn now. So put your clothes back on and get a crew cut, hippie.","credits":"","image_num":"9","title":"Take Down All Your \"Hair\" Posters (Aquarius Only)","title_link":"Take_Down_All","caption_style":"normal","rating":"0","votes":"0","params":{"social_enabled":1},"video_code":"","content_type":"image","is_thumb_generated":"no","user_id":"0","is_notified":"no","is_queued":"no","created":"2011-01-13 16:14:53","entry_id":"0","slideimage_excerpt":"","caption_javascript":"You've been obsessed with the musical \"Hair\" since high school. \"Age of Aquarius\" has been on constant repeat since then too (and you prefer the original cast recording, not that 5th Dimension crap). Guess what? You're a Capricorn now. So put your clothes back on and get a crew cut, hippie.","caption_repaired":"","social_enabled":1},{"slideimage_id":"223789","slide_id":"16070","image":"","caption":"They say that the Zodiac Killer committed a string of murders in California in the '60s and '70s and was never caught. But they also say your zodiac sign was true and authentic and something nobody could take away, and where did that get you? Give up your search for this serial killer. He was probably just as real as the promise that you'd have the same astrological identity for life. And screw David Fincher and his lying movie full of liars.","credits":"","image_num":"10","title":"Stop Looking For The Zodiac Killer; That's Probably Bullsh*t Too","title_link":"Stop_Looking_For","caption_style":"normal","rating":"0","votes":"0","params":{"social_enabled":1},"video_code":"","content_type":"image","is_thumb_generated":"no","user_id":"0","is_notified":"no","is_queued":"no","created":"2011-01-13 16:16:42","entry_id":"0","slideimage_excerpt":"","caption_javascript":"They say that the Zodiac Killer committed a string of murders in California in the '60s and '70s and was never caught. But they also say your zodiac sign was true and authentic and something nobody could take away, and where did that get you? Give up your search for this serial killer. He was probably just as real as the promise that you'd have the same astrological identity for life. And screw David Fincher and his lying movie full of liars.","caption_repaired":"","social_enabled":1},{"slideimage_id":"223812","slide_id":"16070","image":"","caption":"So, after you've successfully reevaluated your life and career, what is the real lesson here? Could it be maybe to place less stock in ancient pseudo-science based on the wisdom of heavenly bodies? It couldn't be that, right?","credits":"","image_num":"11","title":"Maybe Stop Deferring To Ancient Babylonian Wisdom Less In General","title_link":"Maybe_Stop_Deferring","caption_style":"normal","rating":"0","votes":"0","params":{"social_enabled":1},"video_code":"","content_type":"image","is_thumb_generated":"no","user_id":"0","is_notified":"no","is_queued":"no","created":"2011-01-13 16:24:22","entry_id":"0","slideimage_excerpt":"","caption_javascript":"So, after you've successfully reevaluated your life and career, what is the real lesson here? Could it be maybe to place less stock in ancient pseudo-science based on the wisdom of heavenly bodies? It couldn't be that, right?","caption_repaired":"","social_enabled":1}], {"223568":0,"223554":1,"223555":2,"223633":3,"223567":4,"223725":5,"223728":6,"223730":7,"223769":8,"223783":9,"223789":10,"223812":11}, params, 12); HPUtil.entry_comments_for_ajax[HPUtil.entry_comments_for_ajax.length] = 808635; Get HuffPost Comedy On Twitter and Facebook! Know something we don't? E-mail us at comedytips@huffingtonpost.com
Friday, January 14, 2011
New Astrological Signs: What This Means For You (PHOTOS)
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